19 Aug 2010
by Worth Itin Humor, Love Tags: girl parts, Our Mike, sex, working out
That’s right, you heard me, Exercise kills your sex life.
What? You don’t agree? Well I have PROOF! Let me lay out the facts for you.
About 3 months ago, the man approached me about starting a kickboxing class at 6 am EVERY morning (except Sunday, my new favorite day) I agreed at the time, and also may have mentioned that it would be the end of our then very active sex life. It was all bravado. All smack talk. Just trying to get a rise out of him, if you know what I mean.
It was tough, and getting used to getting up at very early o’clock did hamper things quite a bit. I mean morning sex was out, because we were barely awake as we’d stumble out to the truck at 5:30 am. Evening sex was out because we were staring at each other at 7:30 hoping we could convince the kids it was much later and that they needed to go to bed. By the time the kids were actually asleep in bed, we’d already been mentally asleep for hours. Eventually, we worked out a new routine some mornings, but it just wasn’t what it once had been. And then came RAGBRAI. (For those of you who don’t know, it’s a week long 500+ mile bicycle ride across Iowa. It’s 1/3 bicycling, 1/3 beer, and 1/3 fresh baked pie) I didn’t go, but the man did. And he returned a broken man. I don’t know if you can imagine what happens to a guy who’s riding his bicycle about 65 miles a day for 7 days in a row…but yeah, that. Now, when he’s driving me crazy, I can call him “numb nuts” and he can’t complain. *WIN*
Many of you might be saying, that doesn’t seem like it would be all bad. And in fact, there is an upside…when we do find time to “get a little”, it’s never over quickly….EVER. So, the quickies that were getting us through the day…GONE.
So don’t exercise folks….it messes with your routine, it numbs your ass and other useful areas, it steals your energy for even a quickie before bed.
I’m telling you friends, this exercise crap is deadly…it can kill your sex life faster than you can say…numb nuts. So I’m back to surfing the web for a spectacular new “battery operated boyfriend” for me and a urologist for him.
If I can save even one happy sex life or prevent just one pair of balls from going completely and utterly numb, by sharing my story, well then I have done my part…
Thinking only of naked Ryan Reynolds sans crushed nuts you
Angi
21 May 2010
by Worth Itin Happiness, Hobbies, Love Tags: Our Mike, Sandi, working out
Tonight I go in to take my first ever “BEFORE” photo. I will be in a swimsuit. FOR. A. PHOTO. Uh….CRAP! I don’t like pictures of myself in a swimsuit when I’m at a reasonable weight. I am NOT, currently, at a reasonable weight for me. But, I think the way to take this seriously and understand the life changes I have to make, I NEED to do this. So today, I take a picture.
Tomorrow, after going to the Goo Goo Dolls concert outdoors tonight. I go to do a pre-session physical capability test. Run a mile, do sit ups for one minute, do push ups for one minute, weigh in, take measurements, etc. (Clearly beer consumption will be limited, at best.)
THEN, after that, I am going to attempt to learn how to golf via instruction from my boyfriend and his buddy. I do NOT do well with being taught to do anything. CRAP! But, I HAVE to learn because my company golf outing is in two weeks and I have to take the place of my best friend. I have learned how to make bomb pop shots and will make breakfast burritos, so, although they are big shoes to fill….all that’s left is the “learning how to golf thing”. I’m really counting on getting those around me drunk enough that I don’t have to worry about it.
Why do I do this stuff to myself???
Masochistic Kisses,
Angi
13 May 2010
by Worth Itin Family, Happiness, Love Tags: Five for Ten, Love, Our Mike, parenting, working out
Having a partner that wakes you up for a 5:00 AM kickboxing class…because he knows that you will both have fun doing it together…and getting up and giving it your all, because you DO enjoy working out together.
Getting a Mother’s Day card from your daughter that simply states…”You make me smile”…and telling her that the sight of her face and the sound of her voice do the same thing for you everyday.
Flowers brought home and put in a vase, for no reason…and stopping to smell them, each time you pass by.
When your son is in a snuggling mood all day….even when he’s 11…and not letting the length of your to-do list push him away.
Coming home from the longest day ever, to find that the dishwasher has been emptied and reloaded…and thanking your family for helping to carry the load.
Being greeted at the door by your pets when you get home…they missed you so much while you were gone…and taking a moment to pet each one.
The smile from your kids when you show up somewhere they don’t expect you…and realizing that merely the sight of you brightened their day.
Being wrapped up in your lover’s arms… and taking the time to hug back.
Seeing your kids play together…without fighting…and stopping for a moment to enjoy the show.
When your best friend sends you a note, just to say she’s thinking of you…and taking the time to tell her you’re lucky to have her in your life.
Every day, something happens that allows for happiness. Choosing to acknowledge it, feel it and let it consume you is the difference between being happy and pursuing happy. It’s the everyday small things, that if we take the time to recognize how they make us feel, will keep us fulfilled and happy.
Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. ~Robert Brault
30 Mar 2010
by Worth Itin Happiness, Hobbies Tags: Stress, working out
Just a year ago, I was a gym rat. Then life some how got in the way. I don’t know what happened, exactly. First my spinning class was canceled. Then summer hit. Then work took more time in the day than there was hours. Then surgery. Then my friend died. All along I’ve been working out, but that’s so different than being a gym rat. And I really WANT to be a gym rat again. I just don’t remember how to get there. I don’t remember how to LOVE it. And all of those things that slowed me down, still exist. I’m stuck. I had planned on spending some of my hard earned bonus and tax return on something that would inspire a commitment out of me. A constant commitment. I want to do more than just run on the treadmill or put in an hour on the stairclimber. I want to do more than the 30 day shred. I know it’s awesome. I know the results are good, but I want MORE. I want more, theoretically. I want to WANT to go to the gym. I want to WANT to meet a trainer. I went on Sunday, and it was a rush. I worked out yesterday at home, despite not really having time. I will go to the gym today and try to find a way to go tomorrow. Day by day and week by week…I will become a gym rat again.
Re-building a habit,
Angi
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