I’ve tried to write this post 100 times since January 9th of this year. One of my best friends died.  She was a strong and amazing woman.  She embraced life. She dominated the room, regardless of who else was there.  She found a  way to ALWAYS get what she wanted.  She had no fear.  But, she had a weakness.  As strong as she was with everyone else, she was weak when it came to men.  Very weak.  She morphed herself into what they wanted when she found one that interested her.  Unfortunately, the last one she found was a master manipulator, who changed her, forever.  Some day I hope to be able to tell her story. 

In the meantime, I struggle everyday with how to go do those things that were so important to us.  Not only was she my best friend, she was my life line at work.  Together we were going to take over the world. Together, we were going to get our division under control, operating the way WE thought it should.  Together, we were going to teach our youngest kids to swim…confidently.  Together, we were going to see every concert we could afford.  Together, we would celebrate my engagement.  Together, we would plan this wedding. Together, we laughed.  Together, we cried. Together…

I just walked past her empty cube today.  It still doesn’t seem possible.  I have to remind myself that it’s real, far too often.  It’s tough to find the way to do all of these things without her.  She held the key to world domination.  And yet, days like today, where I know we should be plotting away to get out of work early, head to the bar and sit outside to enjoy one of the first real days of spring, my heart is heavy.  But, as I returned to my office from this lonely walk, the first thing my eye was drawn to was this…

She gave this to me a week before she died.  I don’t think that either one of us could have imagined the angel by my side would be her….