30 Mar 2010
by Worth Itin Happiness, Hobbies Tags: Stress, working out
Just a year ago, I was a gym rat. Then life some how got in the way. I don’t know what happened, exactly. First my spinning class was canceled. Then summer hit. Then work took more time in the day than there was hours. Then surgery. Then my friend died. All along I’ve been working out, but that’s so different than being a gym rat. And I really WANT to be a gym rat again. I just don’t remember how to get there. I don’t remember how to LOVE it. And all of those things that slowed me down, still exist. I’m stuck. I had planned on spending some of my hard earned bonus and tax return on something that would inspire a commitment out of me. A constant commitment. I want to do more than just run on the treadmill or put in an hour on the stairclimber. I want to do more than the 30 day shred. I know it’s awesome. I know the results are good, but I want MORE. I want more, theoretically. I want to WANT to go to the gym. I want to WANT to meet a trainer. I went on Sunday, and it was a rush. I worked out yesterday at home, despite not really having time. I will go to the gym today and try to find a way to go tomorrow. Day by day and week by week…I will become a gym rat again.
Re-building a habit,
Angi
26 Mar 2010
by Worth Itin Uncategorized Tags: Sandi
I’ve tried to write this post 100 times since January 9th of this year. One of my best friends died. She was a strong and amazing woman. She embraced life. She dominated the room, regardless of who else was there. She found a way to ALWAYS get what she wanted. She had no fear. But, she had a weakness. As strong as she was with everyone else, she was weak when it came to men. Very weak. She morphed herself into what they wanted when she found one that interested her. Unfortunately, the last one she found was a master manipulator, who changed her, forever. Some day I hope to be able to tell her story.
In the meantime, I struggle everyday with how to go do those things that were so important to us. Not only was she my best friend, she was my life line at work. Together we were going to take over the world. Together, we were going to get our division under control, operating the way WE thought it should. Together, we were going to teach our youngest kids to swim…confidently. Together, we were going to see every concert we could afford. Together, we would celebrate my engagement. Together, we would plan this wedding. Together, we laughed. Together, we cried. Together…
I just walked past her empty cube today. It still doesn’t seem possible. I have to remind myself that it’s real, far too often. It’s tough to find the way to do all of these things without her. She held the key to world domination. And yet, days like today, where I know we should be plotting away to get out of work early, head to the bar and sit outside to enjoy one of the first real days of spring, my heart is heavy. But, as I returned to my office from this lonely walk, the first thing my eye was drawn to was this…
She gave this to me a week before she died. I don’t think that either one of us could have imagined the angel by my side would be her….
23 Mar 2010
by Worth Itin Happiness, Love Tags: Love, procrastination
It’s typically my thing. So much so, that my man, makes jokes, comments or questions “the plan” at least three times a week. I have to work through the details in my head. No matter what the issue: work, home, kids, the man, friends, family…Sometimes, in mulling the details, I will freak out for awhile but then I ALWAYS start to pull together “the plan”. But not this time…and I don’t know why.
You see, the man and I got engaged while on vacation. Which is awesome in ways I haven’t figured out how to put in words. Originally, my plan, after my divorce, was to NEVER under any circumstances marry again. Plans change…and that’s the best part. The man…he gets me. He’s been my friend for 17, almost 18 years. When I first got separated, he helped me find a million sort of insane things that I could do to prove to myself that I was strong enough, tough enough and smart enough to stand on my own. He wasn’t “the man” then…he was just a friend, but he knew what I needed. When he asked me on that first date about a year ago…that was NOT in the plan. I said all the things that girls do when friends ask them out. “I don’t want to ruin the friendship.” “What if it doesn’t work out.” “I don’t want things to change between us.” I got very sage advice from my bff, who said…”Just by asking, things have already changed. Do you want things to change because you were afraid to try or because you find that you’re better friend than anything else?” So…again…the plan changed.
So when he asked me to spend the rest of my life with him, that was easy. I could say yes to that. THAT is my plan. But, conditionally I said, I couldn’t plan a wedding, yet. He agreed. Our answer when people have asked is that we’ll get married sometime between now and 2015. I thought I’d plan an engagement party, just to celebrate the here and now…but I can’t plan. At first, I was maybe a little scared by all of this, but I think my lack of desire to “plan” has more to do with being content. I don’t need a wedding or other big affair…I’ve done that. Maybe I can’t plan “an event” because I’m just planning “our life”. And maybe that’s ok… 
10 Mar 2010
by Worth Itin Happiness, Love Tags: Love, vacation
2009 was a tough year for me. I lost one of my best friends , my grandpa and my uterus. (ha!) But I also fell in love. 2010 was supposed to be the year that I celebrated that…On January 9th, I lost another one of my best friends…I figured the year was lost. But it wasn’t. I just got back from the SINGLE best vacation I have ever been on. Part of that could be the fact that it was 85 degrees and sunny and I’ve been living in snow/ice world since December, but also, what’s not to love about sandy beaches, sunshine, ice cold adult beverages and 300 jewelry stores? I have a lot I want to write about, but first, I want you to enjoy a quick glimpse of how awesome my vacation was. Click Here to see the video montage I put together of our trip to St Thomas. It’s only about 5 minutes long and it’s like taking a little mini vacation…with the man and me of course. 
Enjoy!
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