I used to be one of those people that really blamed Hallmark for the fact that so many people feel particularly unloved one day a year.  I hated Valentine’s Day. I never had dated anyone who was very good “romantic”. I always hoped for the flowers to be delivered or the big box of chocolate, but it never happended. Then I got married and it meant that Hallmark got our money and IF we had dinner plans it would be somewhere better than Taco Bell. My gifts to my loves were always hand made.  In college, it was often the dreaded “mix tape”.  As I got older, these gifts were about sharing special moments or memories in terms of photos or other special considerations. I removed the expectation for flowers and trinkets and being showered with love and turned into a holiday to celebrate love.   The first Valentine’s Day after my divorced, I had decided that I hated the holiday again.  I decided that I didn’t want to celebrate love, I didn’t know if I knew what love was any longer.  I was angry and bitter.    THAT day, I got 5 different bouquets of flowers AND a basket of chocolate.  I got 3 sets of flowers from a guy, as old as my dad, who was pursuing me.  I got one set of flowers from the man who would later become my boyfriend and yet another set of flowers from my BFF.  I am not bragging, I was disgusted by the show of affection.  I did not want flowers from someone who didn’t know me well enough to love me.  I did not like the feeling of being inundated.  It was not personal, it was not intimate…it was commercial and sad.  But those from my friends, who just wanted me to know that they cared and they were thinking of me on that day as well as every day, THOSE made a difference.  Since then, I don’t think much about Valentine’s Day.  I do want to spend time with my boyfriend that night, but honestly, I want to spend time with him every night.  I appreciate the fact that the holiday encourages us to slow down and acknowledge our appreciation of it. While I want this to happen every day, it’s nice to know there’s a day set aside simply to do that.  Does that mean that I’m looking for flowers, chocolate or jewelry again? No.  After my experience, I realize that those things are easy to get, if you’ve got the money to do it.  And receiving those doesn’t make you feel loved, unless the feelings are already there.  I want to celebrate the holiday. I want to take the time to remind the man in my life that I love him…everyday.   To remind my best friend that my life would be less lovely without her.  For the last several years, I have sent my best friend a bouquet of flowers for Valentine’s Day.  Why? Because I love her.  Because she loves me.  Because that Valentine’s Day that changed what getting a  bouquet of flowers and chocolates meant to me, was one of life’s best lessons for me.  And she taught it to me.   Hallmark makes a lot of money on Valentine’s Day, but true Valetine’s moments are the little moments that remind those closest to us that they are loved.

You are loved,
Angi